A Christmas Eve Bonfire

Port Dickson, Malaysia

It started with the idea to have a Christmas Eve bonfire on the beach of Port Dickson (PD). The guest list grew from a small group of a few people to a large group of 40 plus. It was actually my first Christmas away from home and I was still missing the comforts of being home for the holidays.

A Christmas Eve to remember

A Christmas Eve to remember

We descended on a small little Mexican restaurant to start the night. By 11pm, we moved onto the beach to ring in Christmas day. It was a good night of drinks, meeting new people and relaxing on the beach.

As the night was wrapping up, I walked away from the group. About 5 metres from the water, I put my backpack down as a pillow and lay down.

With the city lights behind me, it was too bright to see many stars but I stared up at one star, turned on some music on my phone and just let myself relax.

It has already been 6 months since I came back from travelling. Time really flies. I was starting to feel a little bit more settled though. It’s been an emotionally tiring year and I was wondering when I would start to feel “re-charged”. I reflected on the year as a whole and felt myself breathe a little easier. One of the girls from the bonfire group came by and looked at me lying there.

“Who are you thinking of?”

I laughed.

“It’s okay! We don’t know really know each other, so you can tell me. We’ll never see each other again, so it doesn’t matter.” She said.

“Right”. I said in my head. I smiled and continued to stare up at the star, then I replied. “Nobody that you know of.”

In my head, I heard a certain someone saying something else, “Why is it so important for you to say “goodbye” to me? Will I not see you after this ?”

Flashback to one year ago: I came home early for Christmas from my travels. I was in a beautiful place and while others were longing to stay, I was spending money to change my planet ticket just to come home a few days earlier. All that to spend those extra days with a girlfriend I knew I was saying goodbye to in two weeks time. But it was important to me regardless of what I knew was coming.

I knew we would never see each other in the same way again.

And that is exactly it: we will never see each again. That is why it mattered. It was the real answer I never said aloud.

– C

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