The two strangers met under random circumstances. She had a steady bf and he didn’t. They were in different times of their lives but they had a great connection. They both knew it and they both knew nothing was going to happen. She was happy. At least as happy as she knew happiness to be. He wanted to ask her if she was settling.
She knew the answer inside. It takes a lot to give up what you currently have for something *potentially* greater. Even if she thought she could be better with him, it was a lot to risk. People aren’t wired to take such risks. We want safety and comfort and if it means sacrificing something better for it, then it’s the price to be paid. And we will do what we need to do, to rationalize it. We do it all the time in other aspects of our lives. It is no different when deciding our long-term relationships and love life. It’s only in movies where characters will often take bold risks for a chance of greater love.
“No of course not. I love him” She would have replied.
If we’re going to settle, there’s few who would like to admit it.
It reminded me of something else someone who had a steady boyfriend said to me once.
“I sometimes miss being single and then I see other single people and I realize I’d rather be where I am”.
She didn’t have to say it but she is wondering the same thing we all wonder, how do you know when you have really found the one? And how do you know you haven’t rationalized yourself into settling? If I gave the option to most people, many of us would say “I would rather be fairly happy than head into the unknown where I might not find what I seek”.
One of my friends said it the best. We don’t always marry the one we love the most. We marry the one we *think* we can build a successful marriage with.
That’s not to say those aren’t the same people but I get what he meant.
The guy didn’t ask anyways. He knew he had to be happy for her. Because sometimes you have to give up something that you love. Perhaps they were actually soul mates, but it’s too risky to find out.
Do we settle?
Maybe. But sometimes it’s really hard to tell.