She asked me the question that has no good answer. “What did you see in her?!?”. This question works equally well with friends that have done something very bad. “Why are you even friends with him/her?!” is the friends version. The question itself is a trap. Either way you answer it, somebody loses. If I do not defend her, it is a shot at my own sense of judgment and credibility. If I do defend her, it was more like I was defending myself. And defending yourself means that you may make them look a lot better than they are/were. This is why people are so prickly about ex’s.
So in the end, I did not answer. Not then anyways.